


The Change

by CuteCat213



Category: Gundam SEED
Genre: Angst, M/M, One Shot, Romance, alternative ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-12
Updated: 2012-03-12
Packaged: 2018-02-14 00:08:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2170491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuteCat213/pseuds/CuteCat213
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Songfic inspired by the song of the same name, without lyrics.<br/>The situation: Athrun was given an infiltration mission to switch sides, get close to Kira, and eliminate him. The dilemma: Can he stand face-to-face with his target and pull the trigger? The conclusion...?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Change

**Author's Note:**

> Author's note: Songfic. Shonen Ai. AthrunxKira. 
> 
> Suggested listening to Evanescence's "The Change".
> 
> Terms needed to understand this fic: Coordinator: genetically altered humans made to be stronger and smarter; used for piloting Mobile Suits.  
> Mobile Suit: large humanoid fighting machines.  
> Koishi: Japanese nickname: love.  
> Whose beam is stronger?: Game children play; a game similar to 'Rock, Paper, Scissors.'  
> Torii: small green and yellow mechanical bird that Athrun made and gave to Kira as a going away present when they were kids before the azure haired male moved.  
> Ne?: Japanese term added at the end of a sentence to make a quiry; similar to 'Eh?' or 'Huh?' (example: That was cool, ne? That was cool, huh?).  
> Bakayaro: Japanese, literally: you idiot.
> 
> Additional author's note: if you dislike the ending, continue reading past the line break. Addendum includes alternate/continued ending.

It had been three weeks and they hadn't had a chance to be alone. He'd found the perfect place for them to be together when they got the chance: an idyllic meadow with lush, bright green grass, the only thing in it a young fruit tree that had yet to show evidence of its bounty. A chance to really reconnect after so much time and strife had that had kept them apart, just them and Torii. And it had led to this.

Kira bent down to pluck the only flower visible in the ocean of green: a tiny, five-petaled, sky blue flower. Righting himself and turning to show his treasure to Athrun, he was greeted by the sight of a gun pointed at him by his best friend.

Kira stared at the weapon, flower still in his fingers as his hand dropped to the side, "The whole time you've been back?"

The blue haired teen nodded, "I'm sorry, Kira."

The amethyst teen smiled sadly, "I thought it might be. Have you felt it?"

The emerald eyed boy grimaced, "Every moment."

_Kira looked up as his friend plopped down next to him in his hiding place behind the boulder, between the stone and the sakura tree, "How'd you f-find m-me." he asked through the tears._

_"This is our special place."_

_"H-how'd you know I w-was here?"_

_A seven-year old Athrun Zala frowned, "Because it hurt."_

_Kira's crying slowed and he cocked his head, "Hurt?"_

_Athrun nodded, "It's like, like you're screaming for me. And it hurt here." he held a hand over his heart, "It hurts when you scream like that."_

Kira nodded in understanding, "You heard me."

Athrun looked pained, "It's over now, Kira."

He sighed and looked away, "Are we still friends, Athrun? Do you still consider me your best friend?" ' _Do you still love me?'_  was left unasked, hanging in the air.

_It was after class and Kira was once again in his hiding place. It didn't take Athrun long to find him when Kira's parents had called his because their son hadn't come directly home from school. He sat next to the teary-eyed brunette and hugged him, "What's wrong, Kira?"_

_"Am I lovable?"_

_Athrun looked at him in surprise, "That's a silly question: of course you are! Why would you ask that?"_

_Kira still had his legs pulled up to his chin and was hugging them, "These kids were teasing me. They s-s-said I w-was a m-monster and u-u-unlovable."_

_"Why would anyone ever say something like that?"_

_"Because I'm a coordinator."_

_The azure-haired nine-year old's face darkened, "Well, don't believe a thing they say. What do they know anyway? You're the most lovable person I know."_

_"D-do..." Kira trailed off and looked away._

_"What is it, Kira? You know you can ask me anything."_

_"W-well... Do... Do you love me, Athrun?"_

_The other's arm tightened around him, drawing him closer to the sheltering warmth of his body, "You're my best friend, Kira, and I love you more than anything."_

"Yes." was the bluenette's simple answer, to both the asked and unasked questions.

Kira looked back towards him and the gun that was still trained unwaveringly on him, smiling sadly, "It's not enough, though. Is it?"

"I'm sorry."

Kira shook his head, "No, this is my fault. I should have told you. I just thought... you were the only friend I ever really had, the only other coordinator I'd met. I just thought telling you I was the result of some insane experiment would make you abandon me, pick on me like all the others. I've felt it, these past weeks, like you weren't really there. The more time we spent together, the lonelier I felt. I'm glad, really, that there's some life in your eyes now."

Athrun winced at the comment. To think he could only really be there when he was aiming a weapon at his best friend. The Ultimate Coordinator. His ordered target. This was the very last thing he ever wanted, and even after this was over, he wouldn't be reporting back, "I'm sorry, Kira. Sorry I was ordered to do this."

Kira smiled that damningly sorrowful smile again, "I'm only sorry that I saw this coming. I'm glad, though, that it's over."

Athrun stared at him in shock, "What? How can you say that?"

"I'm tired, Athrun. Tired of fighting. I never wanted any part of this war, but I was forced to fight. Every morning I wake up and think 'Why am I doing this? What am I fighting for?' and every day it takes me longer and longer to come up with the answers. I just want it all to end."

"That sounds suicidal and insane."

"But should be rather good news for my assassin, ne?" he replied, morbidly humorous.

"Can you forgive me? I know that I have no right to ask you that, and I'm not that little kid I used to be." he asked with a blush, ashamed to be asking forgiveness from the person he was about to kill.

"I'm a liar, I've always been by your side. And you're still you. I forgive you."

"Knowing that it would come to this, is there anything that you'd change?"

Kira quirked his head to the side and smiled, this one having no trace of the sorrow his previous ones had held, "I'd try harder to not kill people, I think. But there isn't a single moment of our time together that I'd trade for a lifetime without being near you. I'm not sure how you feel about the matter, but, no; I don't think I'd give you up even if it meant I'd live forever. I regret never joining you when you asked me to each time, but my duty to the others would hold me to the same path even if I did it over again."

"Kira-" he choked on the words in his throat.

The amethyst eyed boy tilted his head the other way, "Do you remember when we'd play with the other children in the park after school in the fall?"

Ignoring the tears tracking down his face from his verdant orbs, he nodded, "Playing 'Mobile Suits'. We were always on the same teams: refused to play any other way."

"I always ran and hid, usually behind our special spot. You always had to come save me when the other team ganged up on me."

"You hated fighting, even then, even pretend fighting."

"But you were always there to save me."

"Koishi, I'm sor-"

Hearing that title given to him again lifted Kira's heart, despite the situation, and he inturupted yet another unnecessary apology, "Do you remember how you always had to save me?"

"Playing 'Whose beam is stronger?' was the only way to settle disputes like that."

"You always won. You always saved me."

_Kira had tears welling in his beautiful violet eyes from being shoved from the top of the large boulder. It wasn't their spot, but one like it on the opposite side of the park. Several others were gathered around him, laughing because he never wanted to play and they enjoyed going after him for easy victories._

_Athrun made his appearance, taking in Kira's scratched and dust-covered form, glaring at his attackers, "Six on one isn't fair! It doesn't count!"_

_"This is war, nothing's fair and everything counts!" one of the bigger kids said._

_"It does not! Look what you did! You hurt him!"_

_"So what? He's a monster, he'll heal; and alot faster than us humans."_

_Athrun stood toe-to-toe with the taller kid-teen, really- giving a death glare, "Take that BACK!"_

_"Make me!"_

_"Fine! I challenge you to a game of 'Whose beam is stronger?'! If you win, you win the war, if I win, you leave my Koishi alone!"_

_"Deal! Call it!"_

_"Red!"_

_"Blue!"_

_"Yellow!"_

_"Fire!"_

_Ten minutes later saw the bullies stalking off with grumbles and Kira launched himself at Athrun, wrapping him in a hug, "Thank you! You saved me! Athrun, you're the best!"_

_Athrun glanced over his shoulder at the beaming face with a smug smile on his lips, emerald eyes full of pride, "Of course, Koishi, I'll always save you."_

Kira closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, bracing himself. When his gorgeous one-of-a-kind eyes opened again, a sheen of tears was evident in them, "Do you want to play a game, Athrun?"

The sapphire haired boy paled, but clenched his jaw and nodded, "Y-yes."

Kira smiled again, this one was sad, "Call it, my love."

"R-red."

"Blue."

"Yellow."

"Fire."

One of the branches of the single fruit tree in an idyllic meadow lurched under the take-off of a small green and yellow mechanical bird being started into flight as the loud sound of a shot being fired resounded throughout the area.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

* * *

 

Athrun fell to his knees with a cry of pain.

Kira pulled himself from his stupor at the shock of being alive and raced to the blue haired teen's side, "Athrun!"

Kira fell to his knees beside his love, inspecting the wound on Athrun's thigh. His unwilling patient grimaced, "It's just a flesh wound."

Adrenaline still racing through his veins, Kira gave the other boy a quailing glare, Athrun shrinking under the look, and slapped him upside the head with all the force he could muster, "Bakayaro! Athrun, you idiot! How could you throw a loaded weapon like that?!"

"Kira." Athrun tried to interject.

"After the lecture you gave me, a THREE HOUR lecture, HOW could you throw a gun like that? You could have killed yourself!

"Kira."

"I knew nothing about weapons when I did it, you're a TRAINED SOLDIER! You know better!"

"Kira!"

"WHAT?!"

Athrun smiled at the outburst, "You're rambling, Love. Shut up and kiss me."

Kira stared at him, completely gobsmacked and doing a remarkable impression of a fish, his mouth opening and closing without forming words. Athrun took it as an invitation to kiss the other teen, swooping down and sealing their lips. Kira immeadiately came to life and kissed him back. They parted and Kira let out a small content sigh, leaning his head against his love's shoulder, "Don't scare me like that ever again."

"I promise."

They sat in silence like that, unmoving, for several minutes until Kira chuckled. Athrun looked down at him quizzically and the shorter male explained, "You saved me again, protected me again."

The green eyed teen smiled, "I promised." he struggled to his feet with Kira's help and hobbled over to the small fruit tree, sitting down and leaning his back against it. He pulled Kira down with him and leaned the brunette against his shoulder and let out a content sigh of his own, leaning his head against his Koishi's. Torii was in a branch above them, watching them with tiny red eyes and letting out an occasional chirp of its signature 'Torii, torii'. Athrun gazed at the teen snuggled next to him, "Do you think I can give you more reasons to get up in the morning?"

Kira chuckled beside him, "You were always the last reason on my list each morning: the one thing guaranteed to force me to get up and face the day."

"I don't know what's going to happen next, but we'll face it together, no matter what. You, me, and Torii."

"As long as I'm with you, I can face anything. 'Let come what may, if I'm with you, I'll be happy at the end of the day."

"That makes two of us."

Two figures sat contentedly together under a small tree in an idyllic meadow, watching the sun make its trip towards the horizon to the cries of a small mechanical bird, unduanted by whatever might happen tomorrow, knowing they would get through it because they had each other.

FIN


End file.
